I never tell you how elegant I think you are.
Your form of angles which ripple into the curves of your shoulders both excite and confound me. I will always wonder what you’re thinking, and in my stubbornness I will assume I already know. It is only another story I make up to explain your behavior. Dear Sir, made of the elements in a way that your fire sparks my passion for life. You make me want to do things. I learn from your example. I do not expect you to fix everything. I do not need you to complete me. My worship far exceeds the broken relationship query “what do you do for me?” which was put there by a generation that measures love by material means. Please share with me these roles society haphazardly threw together based on misconceptions so we can shatter them to pieces.
Cry, if it heals you. Raise Hell, if it feels good. You do not have to match my mystery. When anger engulfs you, and takes you far from me, know that I love you more for expressing yourself. I am not afraid of you. I will always listen and watch you make sense of your emotions like a mad scientist. In fact, I rather enjoy it. For us, there is no room for politics. You are not supposed to be anything. I want to hear what you think about your father. I want to walk the length of a boardwalk and try to dance around the wind. Your silence is my peace. Your speeches remind me of my thoughts.
Forget everything the world has told you about what you should be. There is enough divine majesty in the clearing of your throat and the way you eat red meat with your hands then a suit and tie could ever do. Grow your hair out. Cut it short. Express yourself. Vogue. Get a manicure. Tune a guitar. Run. Look at your hands. Pick a color. Pick a card. Pick a husband or a wife. Gentle man, be yourself. Be afraid. You are not alone. I will walk through hell by your side. Stare at me when I’m not looking. I know. I can feel you deep inside, like a subtle ache, or maybe that is my desire for you. When I refuse you it is because I do not feel worthy of your touch. It is not your essence I repel. It is my own. Trust me if I did not want you, you’d never be able to get that close. Keep trying.
I see children in your eyes. I willingly give myself over to your care, for your perspective expands upon mine and lights my shadows with a vengeance, so I cannot run from myself. That is what your love does. It illuminates me. If our egos draw us far apart, let us pause and see one another. Let me know you are present, even though your body language defends you against me. I am trying also to understand. What is it you want to accomplish? How can I know you better? Say something. I want a hunt too sometimes, but no games, unless it is a crossword puzzle. Work hard at what you love. I could learn a thing or two from your focus. When I appear like an alien to you, by some phase of the moon or trick of the weather, know that this retreat returns me to myself, so I can be the best woman for you. Most of all, sweet boy, I AM you. In our deepest hearts we are interconnected.
You are the flint. Together we make fire. I’ll cover you. I pay more attention than you think. Just as you help with the groceries when they are too heavy for me to make in one trip I will filter everything you cannot carry in your mind to make sense of what irks you. In between heaven and earth live you and I: partners, lovers, friends. You are my favorite mirror.
For the last time let us push aside our squabbling and turn our attention to our great mission (even though we give it other names): to sow the seeds of the Earth through our expressions of love. Our music, photography, carpentry, poetry, counseling, sketching, partying, love making all serve the expansion of the universe. Wouldn’t you agree? It is our declaration, and acceptance of each other. I don’t want to be your opposite or your enemy. I do not want to be superior to you. I only want to love you, with all I am, so we can create and facilitate a new world, where you and I can breathe, and together, elevate the consciousness of the world.
I love you, just as you are, and for bringing out that energy in me. I am on your side.